pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
