I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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