On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
