Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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