i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
