Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
