Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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