having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
