we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
