gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
