HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
