wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
