you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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