i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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