Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
