Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
