Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
