Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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