I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
