is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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