I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
