I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
