i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
