Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
