I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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