Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Your mouth is God's brothel.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize