A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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