my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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