Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
