we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
