i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
