You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize