The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
