thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
