We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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