the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
