Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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