Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
