Can Purell be used as lube?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
