just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
