Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
