do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
