I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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