I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
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My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
should my penis look like a turkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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