My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
