Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Never joke about your clitoris.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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