If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my being single is dangerous.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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