i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
