Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
