she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's shark week go big or go home
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
