What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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