Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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