Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
