11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
