that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
