How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
vagina is talking i cant
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
