My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
