Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
