No awkward lesbian experiences without me
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
