I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
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HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
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