We named our party play list daddy issues
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
