he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
