bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
