Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
